We talk about governance, culture, performance. But what about the cost of environments that shut down human emotion? I once worked in an environment so brutal, my leader told me to go home—or go cry in the stairwell—when I showed any emotion. This was quite a few years ago now, back when I was still a junior in the governance world—trying to do the right thing, raise the right flags, and find my feet in systems that didn’t always reward integrity.
Too many smart, capable leaders have been taught—explicitly or implicitly—that leadership requires smoothing edges, making others comfortable, and keeping the peace. That playing nice—or even playing dead—is the safest path to influence. But in trying not to rock the boat, they end up silencing their own wisdom and authority.
We step into power dynamics, unspoken norms, organisational history, and established tones — many of which have existed long before we walked in.
Last week on LinkedIn, I shared something personal: The truth is… everything I teach and share — I’ve had to survive first.