Walking Away When Integrity Doesn’t Hold

There comes a point in every person’s professional life when we realise that not every room is meant for us. We step in with good intent, ready to contribute, but what greets us doesn’t match the words we were promised. Integrity isn’t always upheld, and when it isn’t, the impact on our energy, confidence, and effectiveness is real.

Disappointingly, many of us have faced situations where integrity slipped — words were loud, but actions were quiet.

If that’s you, you’re not alone.

Here’s the truth: misalignment isn’t a personal flaw. It’s data.

What misalignment can feel like:

• A tight chest before meetings.

• Sunday night dread.

• 3am clock-watching.

• Smoothing emails so they don’t “land too hard.”

• Over-apologising for taking space.

• Second-guessing simple calls.

• Sitting quietly, waiting for promised follow-through — that never came, or arrived misaligned.

• Quiet in the room, loud in your mind.

• Needing a debrief after every conversation.

• A voice that keeps getting smaller.

I’ve been there. I stayed too long. Tried to play nice, dead, or politics. It cost me integrity and energy.

These days, I practise leaving sooner — not as drama, but as a boundary.
I choose.
I hold my lines.
I have the real conversation, without apology.

Sometimes I get completion; sometimes I don’t.
But here’s what I know: rejection is redirection. Every closed door saves me from a room not meant for me and opens space for work where power is held cleanly and truth can travel.

What to practise instead:

• Presence over performance.

• Action over statements — words set intent; actions prove integrity. If actions are absent or misaligned, believe what they reveal.

• Equal and fair exchange.

• Clean power — authority in service of purpose and the decision, not ego.

• Complete your side — with or without their participation.

You’re likely not the problem — the environment might be.

Use the data. Choose rooms where you can be both human and effective. That’s where decisions get better, faster, and fairer.

Here is a room where you can: Register Here for our next workshop!